Tuesday, May 31, 2016

Only Hate the Road When You're Missing Home

I have this theory, that as long as your level of homesickness does not overtake your experience for too long, you are okay with being here. This goes wrong when tragedy, trauma, or other miscellaneous "negative" events keep happening for an extended period of time. Sometimes it's just normal wear and tear that can keep us homesick for a long period of time. I think that is when people chose to go home or not to stay.

When I talk to my students about resiliency, I use the analogy of throwing a rock in the ocean; it can be a big rock that makes one big wave or it can be several small rocks that continue to make the waves larger. Resiliency is our ability to ride the waves and settle back to normal. Peace Corps, in and of itself, is a trying experience for the best of us. It will bring up everything you've ever hidden away in your mind and test you more than anything other experience in your life. Service in the Peace Corps is not always white, sandy beaches and picturesque resorts... some days, it is extraordinarily difficult to get through one day. And this is 100% normal.

Cycle of Vulnerability- Peace Corps
Shown above is the diagram about the cycle of vulnerability and statistically, the volunteers in my group should be at our lowest point in service. Typically, the hardest things to deal with are the issues that come from home. Current volunteers are unique because we live several lives. We have our "USA Life" (our past), "Peace Corps Volunteers Life" (how we interact with other volunteers), and "Village Life" (who we are at our sites). Think of these are three separate venn diagram circles that make us who we are. Life continues on in each circle separately, but with the ease in ability to stay in touch across long distances, we have to somehow manage all three concurrently.

But, you "only hate the road when you're missing home." Yes, I am missing things at home and I am constantly homesick; but, you learn to cope. You learn to value your other volunteers and keep your American traditions alive. I love the fact that some of the closest volunteers to me are from Missouri (see the picture below of Katie, a close PCV who has also lived in the show me state). They get it when I talk about Ted Drews and Imos. Every time I hear a song that I heard back home, it triggers a memory and the same is true with meals. I keep in contact with my friends and family via Whatsapp, Facebook and Skype.

Katie and I enjoying some icecream. 

It is hard to watch people change. It is hard to watch people get married and have kids. It is hard to watch people change jobs. It is hard to miss out on holidays. However, I have a feeling they would say the same about me. You have to have faith that the experience, which fate has brought you to will be worth it and will outweigh the homesickness. Those who mean the most to you, will find a way to keep in contact (even if they hate technology). At the end of the day, it is only two years. Most children don't remember things prior to around age 3 or 4 anyways. Nothing I have missed, is worth missing this experience. Have faith. Trust. Stay true to yourself. You will only regret the chances you haven't taken. Most of the time, it's worth it. Sometimes, I look back on the hardest days and realize that now those days are reasons to stay. It is worth it. Life goes on. You'll catch up when you get home. You'll realize that all those little details you missed aren't nearly as important as the person themself. And that what truly matters.

It is the people- not the experiences you are missing that are truly important. 

(The title name is from "Let Her Go" by Passenger)

Monday, May 23, 2016

I Know You (DON'T) Want It: Using Music to Teach Women's Empowerment

When most of us listen to the strong beats associated with pop music, we want to get up and move! Most of the time, we don't take the time to actually listen to the lyrics of the songs to which we are dancing. The song, Blurred Lines by Robin Thicke and Pharrell, has been titled a "rape culture" or "victim blaming" song. And it is incredibly popular in Fiji.

I try to include women's empowerment in every class or meeting that I hold because Peace Corps Fiji is part of Let Girls Learn. Let Girls Learn is an initiative by the US government to try to bridge the gender gap in global adolescent education; for more information on Let Girls Learn visit, http://letgirlslearn.gov. This means that as Peace Corps Volunteers, we intentionally try to make sure we are including the girls in our curriculum and scheme of work. Here are a few examples of how I include this in my work:

  • Intentionally choose girls to answer questions
  • Make sure girls have the opportunity for leadership in class and at school
  • Speak up at school to ensure that girls are included on all opportunities
  • Educate staff through story-telling at lunch, or Talanoa
  • Covering topics with both boys and girls about gender-based violence
  • Attempting to make connections with the female youth in order to empower them in the village
  • Use the PE/Music/Arts courses to teach culturally-appropriate women's leadership
  • Use music to highlight gender differences in class through discussion
Often, this is as simple as adding an extra set of questions at the end of class. What did you learn? How can you apply this at home? How is how you apply it different from the opposite sex? Why does this song speak differently about girls versus guys? 

I've been working on teaching awareness about sexual assault, boundaries, trauma, resiliency, and reproductive health. Because I am a music therapist, I typically choose to do this through music; although, sometimes I use art and sometimes I do not use any creative arts techniques if I don't want to ingrain a scary topic into their head, like the definition of rape. I typically do not have access to where my students stand, so I have to teach to the middle and assume someone has been assaulted. I have to assume I will trigger someone. The statistic., according to the Fiji Women's Crisis Centre, is that 64% of women, who have been in an intimate relationship will have been assaulted in some way. 

This topic is prevalent and it is powerful, but it is also, "taboo" or "tabu," in the Fijian language. Talking about sex is so scary and out of the norm, that it is almost anti-cultural. By using music, I am able to highlight the prevalence in the media and use a medium that is deeply rooted in the Fijian culture; it's also a safe zone. Using music from the USA typically allows me a little more room to talk about "tabu" topics because it's not quite as "tabu" in the USA. Typically, my students are fairly concrete learners and will take the songs used in class as literal meanings or they do not think about it much, if at all. This leads us into my "Blurred Lines" intervention; credit given to my former internship director, Tania Cordobés, MMT, MT-BC from the Children's Advocacy Center of Collin County for the inspiration for this intervention. 

I will get my "music box" ready and pass out the lyrics to the students or write them on the chalk board. I ask the students to underline one line from the song that stands out from them. We listen to the song and generally, my students will start either tapping in rhythm on their desk or singing along because Fiji is such a musical culture. They will then ask me to play it "Again, Madam" or for the "reggae" version. This is a song they hear on the bus, in the community halls, during grog sessions and everywhere. 

I ask them to tell me their lines for the songs and then I write the definition for rape culture and victim blaming on the board. I ask what they think these two definitions mean in regards to this song. I will say that this song made international news and ask them to guess why, but all the while, we point out that it has a fun, catchy beat. At this point, they start to grasp the concept and we discuss consent. Typically, I use something similiar to the "tea video" (find it here https://m.youtube.com/watch?v=fGoWLWS4-kU) because they drink tea all the time here. 

And they get it. Some students even get disgusted at the song. 

We discuss why boundaries are important and what would they do if someone said this to them?

You're a good girl. I know you want it. Come on, just give it to me. Everyone else does. Be a good girl and do what you're being told to do.  

Typically, then the girls will say, "tell them no." 

Okay, but this guy... He isn't taking no for an answer. He keeps pestering you and he won't leave you alone. What do you do now?

Then they start to talk about real solutions. What can you really do? With the guys, I usually have to change the scenario a bit to if a guy was flirting with them to drive the point home. Then, I will state that how you feel, that is how girls feel when you say things that they don't want to hear. And we discuss. 

I'm not sure why this intervention works as well as it does. Probably because music is the language of adolescents. Probably because there are people who really deal with this all the time here. Maybe it's because this is a topic I'm passionate about. For whatever reason, it works. And I am so thankful to be trained to use music therapeutically. 

I hope this gives you some insight into the Fijian culture, Let Girls Learn initiative, and our Youth Empowerment project here in Fiji. Comment below with what kinds of things you do to include girls or women's empowerment into your work! 





Sunday, May 15, 2016

Sunset Walk on the Coral Coast

At least once a week, I try to take a walk along the beach right before sunset. It models exercise and good self-care, plus the view is incredible. Please enjoy a virtual walk through my pictures below!

Last view of the daylight near the village by mine

 View of the coral coast during low tide
Another shot of low tide
The really cool rock sculptures that show during low tide
Trail from the horses
It's amazing how much the scenery changes every day

Monday, May 9, 2016

My Favorite Dish

Fijian Dhal Soup

Here is a recipe for one of my favorite Fijian foods and a staple in my house, Dhal Soup. Dhal is a spicy, curried lentil soup and it is just phenomenal. The measurements and steps are approximate, so feel free to improvise! I enjoy mine ferociously spicy, but you can skip the chilis. Dhal soup is relatively cheap to make, thickens without any additives, and is fairly nutritious. Please comment below if you try it at home and let me know how it turned out. Kakana Vinaka!


Ingredients: 

  • 2 tbsp Turmeric Powder
  • 2 cup Yellow Split Peas, Red and/or Yellow Lentils (I typically use yellow split peas)
  • 8-10 cup Water
  • 2-4 tbsp Oil or Butter
  • Brown Mustard Seeds  (a pinch or two)
  • 1-2 Chopped Onion              
  • 2-3 Cloves of Garlic
  • Extra Veggies
Recipe:
  1. Pour lentils or split peas into a pot with water. 
  2. Add Turmeric Powder.
  3. Bring to a boil, uncovered, until it thickens to an almost porridge-like texture. I keep mine about the consistency of potato soup. Once it starts to thicken, you'll need to stir fairly frequently so it doesn't stick to the bottom of the pan. This takes about an hour to an hour and a half. Start with 8 cups and increase to 10 as needed.
  4. In a separate pan, add either the oil or butter to warm up. 
  5. Add brown mustard seeds and onion to grill. Add garlic at the end in order to prevent it from burning. 
  6. Add extra veggies to stir fry. You can use eggplant, pumpkin, spinach, tomatoes, potatoes, okra, and/or chilis for spice. 
  7. Add the grilled mixture to the soup and then let it boil for another 5 minutes. 
  8. Enjoy with roti (indian tortilla), rice, extra chilis, or bread as you desire!